Monday, October 22, 2007
not important. =)
currently listening to:
Bryan Adams, Everything I do, I do it for you.
lol, Nisha gave me just now in school.. yeap, we're all back now.
I use to remember last time, i always look forward to come back to school after a fairly long holiday, but this year I've noticed that i don't have the mood to go.. lolsl.. oh wells
Ok, last night me and Jesse were talking, and i guess we've kinda solved it. Solved what we've been wanting to do. Originally we both planned on breaking up completely for the reasons of my mother and what was best for us. We planned to break up "nicely", and i know this will sound corny but Jesse did buy both of us a pair of engraved rings, as we've planned, to break up in a way that we would remember each other, and end it nicely.
Well, that sorta didn't quite work, because breaking up/ loosing connection/ loosing contact/ breaking our relationship didn't felt like the right thing to do (at least for me). So this is where last night's conversation comes in, Jesse suprisingly suggested on whether it would be better and would help both of us if we still keep the connection/ relationship but loose the titles girlfriend and boyfriend. I know this will soon/ already sound as if both of us are eventually gonna be using each other for reasons (like, physical connections), well no. It's really confusing, but all i know is that i understand on where we're both going. Suprisingly, i wasn't like second-guessing anything when he asked for confirmation on whether i wanted to go with the suggestion, i immediately (well not really) agreed.
Long short, personally, i think this will work. We've both realized that we've been together for a very long time until we've already adapted ourselves to our lives, natural-sort-of-thing. If we go away from each other, we will never be happy (trust me, I've proven that MANY times over the years). Being in a "pet brother pet sister" position, it WILL be for the better, our connection together will not only never be broken, but also, we won't go away from each others' lives, results = giler happy babeng always.
It will DEFINITELY take some time, hopefully not for a long time. Especially for me, it HAS to be a gradual thing. This will be the hardest thing both of us have ever done, but we're trying so hard to overcome it.
Why, i hear, you ask we're breaking up suddenly? Well, the people that knows me (like AMMIE, nisha, athira, tasha, jade and sam) will definitely understand why.
............ i hope......
=) seeyou.
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